It’s been awhile since my last post. I’ve been trying to get settled in now that I’m back in Amsterdam. Job hunting (as a recent graduate, in this economic climate, not speaking Dutch) is like trying to saw your own arm off … painful and difficult. I’ve gotten a serving job in order to pay the bills, but it’s a shame that I cannot be putting that time into developing my skills for a career. And as a recent graduate lack of experience is not helping the job hunt.
But also I’ve been using this time to try to pin point what I’m really passionate about. I wish I could have figured this out or taken a bit more time to think about it before pursuing my masters degree. In that way I could have developed my own idea for my thesis research before hand or taken the choosing a bit more seriously, rather than just picking a topic I’m fairly interested in for the sake of obtaining a degree. Am I the only one that did that? For the sake of everyone else, I hope so.
But a young person’s lack of foresight (and what I would like to think of as a failure of our school system to provide anything to students but a shitty curriculum and a focus on the highest grades, in which case is often a memorize and forget type of situation) has landed me in a quandary where my mindset is muddled with feelings of frustration and failure about the choices I made and failed to make. But it’s all wonderful hindsight now. I understand a bit more clearly what is required to get to where I’d like to be. And the first step is to determine what I am passionate about. Maybe that’s a bit cliche to say and maybe it’s the obvious step to have taken in the first place, but I overlooked it or never bothered to realized it mattered. Or maybe it just takes time for your passion to present itself. Regardless, it’s not about finding what I’m interested in. I am interested in LOADS of issues. But what really takes root inside of me and wants to explode out?
I’ve started to narrow it down and I am almost certain it will take more years to even get it right on the money, but I know it lies in our food. How we produce it, where we produce it, and what we’re putting into our bodies. I don’t want to be so disconnected from the food I ingest. And I really don’t even want there to be an option when it comes to healthy, nutritious food vs. processed, hormone and antibiotic injected, chemically sprayed food. Not to mention food produced fairly in terms of labour rights, worker safety, and the treatment of animals. Even knowing all the terrible things happening to our food, I still buy a lot of it at the grocery store. And that scares me. It’s the availability and cost factors that play the biggest roles for me. That’s why I don’t want the shitty options to even exist.
Food: it comes back to all things that are inherently important to me: nature, health, empowerment, people, and environment … and the connections between these. It’s a start and a direction.